Breakdown
by Violintide
Summary: Neptune x Uranus In which Sailorneptune curses her fate. Set during the Silver Millennium.


---  
  
Breakdown  
  
[a neptune x uranus story : Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon]  
  
by Jennifer [ff.net: Violintide]  
  
peropero at inorbit dot com  
  
http://www.hatsuyume.net  
  
November 1998  
  
--  
Castle Triton, Neptune, Silver Millennium  
--  
  
  
"Goddess.."  
  
The voice bounced off the chamber walls, filling the room  
with a low echo of despair. It's origin, a hunched-over  
figure in the center of the room, made a desperate effort  
to contain the pain. Arms wrapped around her body, long,  
twisted hair falling haphazardly down her back and spilling  
her shoulders, she took a deep breath, fighting the tear  
that threatened to break down the barrier of her emotions.  
  
"Not.. this time. No." She shook her head angrily as she  
reached her hand out, grasping the cool stone floor beneath  
her. The attacks had happened before, but never like this.  
Never before had she felt utterly helpless and deserted,  
with everything she wanted, the one thing she needed  
dangling just that extra inch beyond her reach. She  
swallowed in an attempt to calm herself, make everything  
"right" again..  
  
"Damn it, what's the *point*?!" In a rare display of  
temper, she flung the pillow beside her across the room,  
knocking down a nightstand and breaking a vase standing  
behind it. The noise of the crash made her stop, a slightly  
embarrassed look on her face. however, it was wiped away within  
a fraction of a second as she stood up, brushing off  
nonexistant dust particles and straightening her clothing  
once more.  
  
A glance at the doorway showed the same lack of activity   
in the labyrinth of corridors that wound around the spiral  
tip of the palace, collecting around the energy core. Stepping  
lightly over the shards of porcelain, she raised her hand to  
the wall, steadying the sudden destructive impulses that had  
flooded her body a moment ago. It was getting harder to resist  
them, she realized; the loneliness saw to that. She wasn't going   
to start this, she didn't need to add insanity to the growing list   
of downsides of her position. As she picked up a brush, combing   
through her knotted hair, she paused to consider exactly what the   
perks were to begin with. Coming up with only two, and the first   
- protecting the kingdom millions of miles away that had sent her   
here in the first place - not even something she could draw up   
more than dutiful concern for anymore, she focused on the second.  
  
The brush soothed her nerves as she stared into the depths  
of her handmirror. The golden frame, with the silhouette of  
a woman clinging to the side and a trail of flowers curving  
over it, the heavy jade backing swirling with the magic of  
the item. It was part of the problem, yet it was part of her..  
That could be applied to several things in her life. Gazing  
into bubbly silver depths, she called up an image to herself,  
allowing one small privledge that she knew she would regret  
later.  
  
The eyes focused first. Blue-grey, with a hint of mischevious  
gold flickering through them.. Her hand shook again as the  
memory of those eyes made her knees weak and attempted to  
loose the wall of tears again. Next, a soft sprinkling of  
short white hair, the same color as the stars she could see  
through the thick window beside the closet. Closet, what a  
joke. She had been remaining in uniform at all times for  
the past four centuries, having lost any childish urges she  
once had felt for dress up games. Those had been removed  
from her heart at the moment she realized the hopelessness  
of it all.  
  
She could still remember the last night she hadn't worn  
the familiar costume. That had been the most amazingly  
wonderful time she had ever had, even if it had ended in  
this. With a glare of disgust cast at the room around her,  
she ignored her elegant furishings in what was nothing  
more than a glorified prison. She remember the time when  
she was almost free, when she could go where she wanted  
and do what she wanted and spend as much time as could  
possibly be spent with whomever she chose. She knew who  
that would be. Even the palest reminder in her memory  
made the image in the glass sharpen.  
  
Soft lips. Her own lips trembled as they recalled the  
feel of them against hers. The deep, throaty voice that  
could melt her into crystalline puddles with a word.  
The entire image appeared, arms outstretched, appearing  
to reach through the confines of the mirror for her.  
  
It was almost too much, but she had no tears left. With  
one sweeping motion, she knocked the larger mirror from  
the wall, watched with detatched interest as it fell,  
disintegrating into millions of tiny fragments. The larger  
pieces still reflected her own image, showing her aqua eyes  
turn a colder shade as she closed off the pain. Opening the  
chamber door, she exited the room, her talisman in hand.  
  
Circling a pale blue planet, a castle hung suspended in  
the airless space around it. The glitter of stars in the  
distance blinked faintly as a scream rang through the palace  
below. 


End file.
